Value and Validity
Finding Clarity During Your Single Season
As a young child, I grew up in a stable and loving environment. I was taught to hold myself to a high standard and never stray away from my morals and values. During this time, I grew an intense fascination for the human mind and how it functions, relationships, and why people do what they do. Through these fascinations, I began to understand that we all see life through different lenses. Even though I grew up around a multitude of seemingly healthy relationships, I struggled to find fulfillment in my own. No one added value or substance to my relationships, at least not the kind I always imagined. From high school, I had my whole life figured out. I would be a wife by 23, a mother to my 1st born child by 26, and live the rest of my days happily ever after. Surprisingly, God had other plans, and I was devastated. I didn’t realize I had created this fantasy from watching other people’s relationships flourish and watching Disney fairy tales unfold. I was raised to be a wife in a generation that seemed to be moving away from traditional marriages. I dated, I loved, and I failed! Miserably...
At times, I would find myself dating individuals to make the time go by until my Mr. Right finally showed up and swept me off my feet. I did not want to be alone. Relationships turned into situationships. I began to settle! And not for what I could get but for where my heart decided to take residency. And then, it happened... I could retire from the dating game. The man of my dreams finally showed up and was my perfect match! Time had passed, and things began to shift, and not for the better. I was losing myself, and I could no longer stand to look at my reflection in the mirror.
I loved love more than I loved myself, and I was spiraling out of control.
Identity unrecognizable, and boundaries crossed.
Internally and externally embarrassed!
Foreign behaviors and Self- disrespect!
I was broken...
I prayed, cried, and promised God that if he saved me from the situation, I would never make the same mistake twice. But I felt like he wasn't listening to me. I assume I was in too deep, and God was tired of me not taking heed to the signs I had prayed for.
And just like the old people used to say, "he may not come when you want him, but he will be there right on time"... Finally, he showed up, but not at all like I thought he would. Never make God remove you from a situation he told you to leave. I promise you won't like how he does it.
It broke my heart and took some time to heal. No matter what I felt, I had to live up to my end of the bargain with God. But truthfully, I didn't know where to start. So, one day, I had a revelation to do a complete self-evaluation because I realized that no one did anything to me that I did not allow.
Doing this allowed me to tackle misfortunes that took place in my early adulthood effectively, and I could look deep within and hold myself accountable. Experiencing various situations forced me to become familiar with who I was, Who I was becoming, and who I so desperately wanted to be. Through self-discovery, I learned that some of my limiting beliefs kept me from maximizing my full potential and attracting healthy relationships. Everything started from within! The road to healing and self-discovery was not easy, but I must admit it was one of the best gifts I could ever give myself and others. My ability to navigate through my circumstances has allowed me to see things from a perspective that most people have not had the opportunity to experience. I encourage people to be their authentic selves, and understand that life is ultimately what we make it, and in order to grow, you must be willing to take accountability for how you show up for yourself and others and make the necessary adjustments. It will not only change your life; it may save it too.
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Ladies!!! This one is for you!
Are you single and willing to make the best out of your time?
Self-discovery and accountability are major parts of who you are and who you will become.
What better time to work on you than when you're single?
As your Outstanding Queen of American Beauties Plus, Let's accomplish your goals, share tips and strategies, build your self-esteem, and LOVE ON YOU together!
Join my Facebook group - Value and Validity: Finding Clarity During Your Single Season, and let's get to work!
Coaching Services Include:
Singles Coaching ( Men and Women) - Relationship - Abuse and Trauma Recovery (Domestic Violence) - Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse Recovery - Toxic Behavior - Self- Discovery/ Love - Accountability - Goal Execution - Life Skills and Personal Development - Adolescence
